ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES
I don’t really care about my agenda, I wanna be on yours.
(Source: colferchris)
The china had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in. Titanic was called the Ship of Dreams, and it was. It really was.
I just want to squeeze him and love him
Conversation I heard in the club.
- Shy Guy: Hey there..
- Random Guy: Hey what's up?
- Shy Guy: Nothing much, just wanted to say you are really cute.
- Random Guy: Thanks dude!
- Shy Guy: So, are you here with anyone?
- Random Guy: Yeah, my girlfriend just went to the washroom.
- Shy Guy: Oh God, I'm sorry, didn't know you were straight.
- Random Guy: That's alright it's cool.
- Shy Guy: You don't mind me calling you cute?
- Random Guy: A compliment is a compliment no matter who it comes from.
So my professor was asking questions.
- Professor: Who plans on getting married within the next 5-10 years?
- Like 3 people: *raises hand*
- Professor: Who plans on never getting married?
- Me: *raises hand*
- Professor: *points me out* why?
- Me: It's illegal.
- Professor: touche.
Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy, in case you hadn’t heard. How dare she remove those ticking time bombs from her chest, amiright? Like, hasn’t she learned by now that her body is public domain and we all get to vote on what she does with it? Sheesh, how selfish can ya get.
(Source: bleinedevon)
sometimes i laugh at my tags
because they’re just like
‘#FUCK YOU #YOU’RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE #YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY #WELL IT’S NOT YOU DICK’
shortly followed by a calm and collected ‘#daniel radcliffe’
